Let’s say I sit at the top of the mountain. You claw your
way up—you with your split, bloodied fingernails, blurred vision, parched
lips, wind—numbed ears and the scent of hot stone flaring your nostrils. You
reach me and gasp, “What is the secret? What is the best craft tool?” I lean
forward and whisper two words. “Sensory details.”
Maya Angelou is quoted as having said, “I've learned that
people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people
will never forget how you made them feel.” To slip a reader inside a
character’s sensibilities, there is no more powerful means for melding one with
the other than the transformative powers of the five senses.
Think of the five senses as the nickels of your craft, a
five-part coin that should be spent as early and often as possible.
Here’s why.
In Writing Fiction:
A Guide to Narrative Craft, Janet Burroway advises:
Fiction offers feelings for which the reader doesn’t pay—and yet to evoke those feelings, it is often necessary to portray sensory
details that the reader may have experienced … if the writer depicts the
precise physical sensations experienced by the character, a particular emotion
may by triggered by the reader’s own sense memory … to dramatize [a character’s
emotion] through physical detail allows a reader to share the experience. (31)
Of course, compelling stories are made up of more than
just page after page of sensory description, but if you commit to work all five
senses into your writing—sight, sound, touch, taste and smell—you truly can
hook and hold your audience.
Taste and smell—the most potent trigger of memories and
associations—are ironically the least used sensory descriptions. In A Natural History of the Senses Diane
Ackerman explores the ability to connect what is seen in the mind with what is
felt in the body:
Nothing is more memorable than a smell … Smells detonate
softly in our memory like poignant land mines … Hit a tripwire of smell, and
memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth.
(5)
Additionally,
In our mind’s eye, that abstract seat of imagining, we
picture the face of a lover, savor a kiss. When we think of him in passing, we
have various thoughts; but when we actually picture him, as if he were a
hologram, we feel a flush of emotion … The visual image is a kind of tripwire
for the emotions. (281)
You can create that hologram and trigger an emotion with
a detailed, multi-faceted sensory offering. The more senses you describe, the
clearer the mental picture formed in the reader’s mind. The stronger the mental
picture, the stronger the emotional connection with the character.
It’s so simple really. Your favorite best-beloved books
are the ones that make you feel something. The key to triggering emotions is to
engage a reader through sensory description.
Here are just three examples of acclaimed award-winning
writers who spend that whole nickel as early as possible.
The Midwife’s Apprentice by Karen Cushman:
When animal droppings and garbage and spoiled straw are
piled up in a great heap, the rotting and moiling give forth heat. Usually no
one gets close enough to notice because of the stench. But the girl noticed
and, on that frosty night, burrowed deep into the warm, rotting muck, heedless
of the smell. In any vent, the dung heap probably smelled little worse than
everything else in her life—the food scraps scavenged from the kitchen yards,
the stables and sties she slept in when she could, and her own unwashed,
unnourished, unloved, and unlovely body. (1)
Lizzie Bright and the
Buckminster Boy by
Gary Schmidt:
Turner Buckminster had lived in Phippsburg, Maine for
fifteen minutes shy of six hours. He had dipped his hand in its waves and
licked the salt from his fingers. He had smelled the sharp resin of the pines.
He had heard the low rhythm of the bells on the buoys that balanced on the
ridges of the sea. He had seen the fine clapboard parsonage beside the church
where he was to live, and the small house set a ways beyond that puzzled him
some. (1)
Last, but not least, Dandelion
Wine by Ray Bradbury:
The grass whispered under his body. He put his arm down,
feeling the sheath of fuzz on it, and, far away, below, his toes creaking in
his shoes. The wind signed over his shelled ears. The world slipped bright over
the glassy round of his eyeballs like images sparked in a crystal sphere … His
breath raked over his teeth, going in ice, coming out fire. Insects shocked the
air with electric clearness. Ten thousand individual hairs grew a millionth of
an inch on his head. He heard the twin hearts beating in each ear, the third
heart beating in his throat, the two hearts throbbing his wrists, the real
heart pounding his chest. The million pores on his body opened.
I’m really alive, he thought. (10)
Now it’s your turn. Find your favorite books. Look for
the passages that most moved you. What do you see, hear, taste, feel and smell?
If you want your readers to journey as your characters,
deploy sensory details. But remember, this craft nickel has 5 sense(s). Spend
the whole coin.
Be generous.
Works Cited
Ackerman,
Diane. A Natural History of the Senses.
New York: Vintage Books-Random House, 1990.
Bradbury,
Ray. Dandelion Wine. Rev. ed. New
York: Bantam, 1975
Burroway,
Janet and Elizabeth Stuckey-French. Writing
Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft 7th ed. New York: Pearson Longman,
2007.
Cushman,
Karen. The Midwife’s Apprentice. New
York: Clarion-Houghton Mifflin, 1995.
Schmidt,
Gary. Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster
Boy. New York: The Penguin Press, 2005.
*
M. A. Moris is a 2009 graduate of the Hamline MFAC
program. She suggests that if you wish for a better understand of the
physiology behind this phenomenon, read “Proust and the Squid: The Story and
Science of the Reading Brain,” by Maryanne Wolf.