Look At Me
Our
residency this summer will be focused around point of view, and I’m giving the
kickoff lecture, which means it falls on me to somehow synthesize POV issues
into a coherent talk, which is rather like trying to clear out a hoarder’s
living room so you can have dinner party there. Either way, you’re going to end
up losing your faith in the omniscient narrator.
So,
when lecture time starts approaching, I find myself reading with post-it flags
nearby; and every once in a while a book proves so interesting that it starts
looking like this:
Anne's copy with Post-its. |
One
Crazy Summer is
about eleven-year-old Delphine and her two younger sisters, Vonetta and Fern,
who travel to Oakland in the summer of 1968 to see the mother who’d abandoned
them years before. With Delphine as your guide, you realize that to be an
African- American girl in 1968 you are constantly aware of the white people who
are or might be looking at you, and what they see when they do. When they go to
their gate at the airport in the beginning of the book, Delphine notices, “There
weren’t too many of ‘us’ in the wait area, and too many of ‘them’ were staring.”
On the plane, Delphine tries to keep her sisters in line, telling us, “The last
thing Pa and Big Ma wanted to hear was how we made a grand Negro spectacle of
ourselves thirty thousand feet up in the air around all these white people.”
Delphine’s
job is to watch over her sisters, and in the scenes her eyes are constantly on
them. In her narration, she barely focuses on herself; it makes sense, as the
eldest, she’s valued for being a surrogate parent to the other girls. Their mother
Cecile doesn’t take any of this burden away from Delphine; she barely looks at
the girls, and certainly doesn’t ever see them for who they are. The only time
she looks at Delphine is to intimidate her; when Delphine rebels against the
nightly greasy Chinese take-out by bringing home food to cook, her mother
stares at her, long and hard. “If that was supposed to make me feel afraid,
stupid, and small,” Delphine tells us, “It worked.”
Whenever
the sisters venture out, they have to deal with the gaze of others, whether it’s
the white people with cameras who want to take the girls’ picture because they
are “adorable dolls” and “so well-behaved.” Or the shop keeper who sets his
eyes on them as soon as they walk into his shop; at first, Delphine thinks it’s
because they are kids alone in his store, but then she realizes, “His hard
stare was for the other reasons store clerks’ eyes never let up. We were black
kids, and he expected us to steal.”
When
the book begins, Delphine’s voice feels child-like and immediate; when the
girls are on the plane to Oakland she’s terrified, and she tells us, “It was
bad enough my insides squeezed in and stretched out like a monkey grinder’s
accordion.” She refuses to show her fear, for the sake of her sisters. Through
the book, Delphine is conscious of the image she’s projecting for everyone else
to see; only we can see the scared little girl underneath it.
But
as the book goes on, the voice grows a little more mature, and the narration a
little more distant, as if the narrator-Delphine is now an older girl looking
back on these events. You feel the separation between the two Delphines—as
kid-Delphine lives through the story you become more and more aware of the
older girl remembering them. Somehow this makes you love Delphine even more;
now you have a sense of the girl she will become, the one who lived through
this summer and grew from it. Or maybe it’s just because the narrator gives
kid-Delphine what you're longing for for her--finally, someone sees her. Though
the girl in the scenes doesn't know it, her older self is with her the entire
time, promising her that she’s understood, that she’s seen.
And,
we learn, it isn’t just by her older self. At the end of the summer, Cecile
sits Delphine down and haltingly tells her her own life story. "I wasn't
used to having her attention," Delphine tells us. "Having her look at
me and talk. All the while she spoke, she didn't lift her eyes from me.”
When
she takes the girls back to the airport, a white man stops them and tries to take
their picture, cooing “Pretty girls, smile pretty!” Cecile puts a stop to it,
standing in front of the girls and snapping at the man, ”They’re not monkeys on
display.” Delphine tells us, “I felt bad for him, but I knew Cecile had to step
in. Any mother would have at least done that.”
When
they leave to board the plane, Delphine says, “I expected Cecile to walk away.
To cut through the terminal in man-sized strides as soon as we got up and stood
on-line. When I turned to see if she had gone, she was standing only a few feet
away, looking straight at me. It was a strange, wonderful feeling. To discover
eyes upon you when you expected no one to notice you at all.”
It is a fabulous book, Anne, and so are you. I so look forward to your talk on the first day.
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