Alumni Voices with Maggie Moris: Five Senses Worth

Let’s say I sit at the top of the mountain. You claw your way up—you with your split, bloodied fingernails, blurred vision, parched lips, wind—numbed ears and the scent of hot stone flaring your nostrils. You reach me and gasp, “What is the secret? What is the best craft tool?” I lean forward and whisper two words. “Sensory details.”

Maya Angelou is quoted as having said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” To slip a reader inside a character’s sensibilities, there is no more powerful means for melding one with the other than the transformative powers of the five senses.

Think of the five senses as the nickels of your craft, a five-part coin that should be spent as early and often as possible.

Here’s why.

In Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft, Janet Burroway advises:

Fiction offers feelings for which the reader doesn’t pay—and yet to evoke those feelings, it is often necessary to portray sensory details that the reader may have experienced … if the writer depicts the precise physical sensations experienced by the character, a particular emotion may by triggered by the reader’s own sense memory … to dramatize [a character’s emotion] through physical detail allows a reader to share the experience. (31)

Of course, compelling stories are made up of more than just page after page of sensory description, but if you commit to work all five senses into your writing—sight, sound, touch, taste and smell—you truly can hook and hold your audience.

Taste and smell—the most potent trigger of memories and associations—are ironically the least used sensory descriptions. In A Natural History of the Senses Diane Ackerman explores the ability to connect what is seen in the mind with what is felt in the body:

Nothing is more memorable than a smell … Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines … Hit a tripwire of smell, and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth. (5)

Additionally,

In our mind’s eye, that abstract seat of imagining, we picture the face of a lover, savor a kiss. When we think of him in passing, we have various thoughts; but when we actually picture him, as if he were a hologram, we feel a flush of emotion … The visual image is a kind of tripwire for the emotions. (281)

You can create that hologram and trigger an emotion with a detailed, multi-faceted sensory offering. The more senses you describe, the clearer the mental picture formed in the reader’s mind. The stronger the mental picture, the stronger the emotional connection with the character.

It’s so simple really. Your favorite best-beloved books are the ones that make you feel something. The key to triggering emotions is to engage a reader through sensory description.

Here are just three examples of acclaimed award-winning writers who spend that whole nickel as early as possible.

The Midwife’s Apprentice by Karen Cushman:

When animal droppings and garbage and spoiled straw are piled up in a great heap, the rotting and moiling give forth heat. Usually no one gets close enough to notice because of the stench. But the girl noticed and, on that frosty night, burrowed deep into the warm, rotting muck, heedless of the smell. In any vent, the dung heap probably smelled little worse than everything else in her life—the food scraps scavenged from the kitchen yards, the stables and sties she slept in when she could, and her own unwashed, unnourished, unloved, and unlovely body. (1)

Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy by Gary Schmidt:

Turner Buckminster had lived in Phippsburg, Maine for fifteen minutes shy of six hours. He had dipped his hand in its waves and licked the salt from his fingers. He had smelled the sharp resin of the pines. He had heard the low rhythm of the bells on the buoys that balanced on the ridges of the sea. He had seen the fine clapboard parsonage beside the church where he was to live, and the small house set a ways beyond that puzzled him some. (1)

Last, but not least, Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury:

The grass whispered under his body. He put his arm down, feeling the sheath of fuzz on it, and, far away, below, his toes creaking in his shoes. The wind signed over his shelled ears. The world slipped bright over the glassy round of his eyeballs like images sparked in a crystal sphere … His breath raked over his teeth, going in ice, coming out fire. Insects shocked the air with electric clearness. Ten thousand individual hairs grew a millionth of an inch on his head. He heard the twin hearts beating in each ear, the third heart beating in his throat, the two hearts throbbing his wrists, the real heart pounding his chest. The million pores on his body opened.

I’m really alive, he thought. (10)

Now it’s your turn. Find your favorite books. Look for the passages that most moved you. What do you see, hear, taste, feel and smell?

If you want your readers to journey as your characters, deploy sensory details. But remember, this craft nickel has 5 sense(s). Spend the whole coin.

Be generous.

Works Cited

Ackerman, Diane. A Natural History of the Senses. New York: Vintage Books-Random House, 1990.

Bradbury, Ray. Dandelion Wine. Rev. ed. New York: Bantam, 1975

Burroway, Janet and Elizabeth Stuckey-French. Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft 7th ed. New York: Pearson Longman, 2007.

Cushman, Karen. The Midwife’s Apprentice. New York: Clarion-Houghton Mifflin, 1995.

Schmidt, Gary. Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy. New York: The Penguin Press, 2005.

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M. A. Moris is a 2009 graduate of the Hamline MFAC program. She suggests that if you wish for a better understand of the physiology behind this phenomenon, read “Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain,” by Maryanne Wolf.

Publication Interview with Elizabeth Fixmer: Down from the Mountain

Albert Whitman Teen
March 1 2015

Please describe the book.

Down from the Mountain is contemporary fiction in which a fourteen-year-old girl begins to question the prophet of the religious cult in which she was raised. Righteous Path members are isolated, schooled on the compound, and taught to fear the outside world of “heathens.” But Eva’s journey into critical thinking begins when a new member, a teacher, brings books from the outside and Eva reads The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. When Eva learns that this book is an allegory and Aslan represents Christ, the idea of god as loving verses the capricious, fear provoking one that Prophet Ezekiel portrays, resonates deeply in her heart.

When money dries up and the group faces the possibility of starving over the long winter to come, Ezekiel allows Eva to make jewelry and sell it at the Boulder flea market. But he uses much of that money to buy guns believing that they must protect themselves against the government, former members and nosey reporters.

Things really heat up when Eva’s mother has difficulty with her high risk pregnancy and may die without the medical attention denied all members. At the same time Ezekiel announces that he will marry Eva when she turns fifteen. Eva must finally decide what she believes and what she must do.

As the story progressed from inception to copy-edited version, what were the major changes? How did those changes come about?

I have more versions of this book than I care to recall. In the first version, Eva is kidnapped from the cult by men her father hires for this purpose. The problem with that version was that most of the action took place after Eva was kidnapped from the cult and that was far less interesting than her experience inside the cult. The second problem was that I wanted Eva to become strong enough that she would leave on her own without being forced to leave.

In another version I made Jacob and Eva co-protagonists and told their story using alternate voices. I wrote the story in third person past tense, then shifted to first person present tense so that the reader would share greater intimacy with the protagonist. I had as many titles as versions. Finally it was the Albert Whitman team who chose Down from the Mountain, a title that has multiple meanings. It is both literal and symbolic.

When did you first begin work on it? When did you finish?
I started work on this ten years ago. I sent the first chapters to the Highlights foundation at Chautauqua where I spent a wonderful week several years ago. It was critiqued by Carolyn Coman. She encouraged me to get an MFA from Vermont. I applied and was accepted. I continued work on it with my first advisor, Cynthia Leitich Smith. When the Hamline program opened, I continued my MFA there and worked with Carolyn Coman for my first semester there. I was really tired of the manuscript by then and started, Saint Training, (ZonderKidz, 2010) under the tutelage of Gary Schmidt for my two final semesters.

Once my first book was published I continued to work on Down from the Mountain under the guidance of my agent Minju Chang, and my incredible critique group. When the manuscript was purchased by Wendy McClure at Albert Whitman, her excitement about it breathed new life into it. Under her guidance I continued editing it until literally days before the first printing. I seriously wonder sometimes if it’s the most examined and edited book ever.

What research was involved before and while writing this book?

Long before I wrote this book I read everything I could get my hands on about cults – especially the psychology of cult leaders and participants. As a psychotherapist in private practice in Denver, I had occasion to work with individuals who were recovering from their religious cult involvement and on some occasions even worked with people who were active participants in a cult, who sneaked off to see me so they could explore their doubts. I only needed to review all that I had learned about cults in order to write this book.

Saint Training, your first book, was published in 2010. What have you learned about the business of writing since then? 

The business of writing is complex, ever-changing and varies from house to house.  I’ve learned that book acquisitions are very impersonal and that your book may be passed up simply because it doesn’t fit the vision of that house. A genre or even a subject may be hot and then suddenly it’s not. I was told by more than one publisher that “dystopian fiction was losing popularity.”

Now that I’ve had the experience of working with two publishers I see differences in big and little things. One made up a great marketing plan; the other left that almost entirely up to me. One gave me input into the cover design and title, one did not. I’ve also learned that I can adapt to the difference between houses, and that what’s most important is working with a good editor. I’ve been blessed with good editors for both of my books. Their enthusiasm made the editorial process fun and exciting. 

Where do you do most of your writing?

 When my writing is going well I sit at my computer in my office. But when I’m stuck or dragging, I stay in bed and write by hand until I’m in a better place. Writing by hand in my comfortable bed makes the process less serious and reduces any anxiety I might be fighting.

Do you remember the first book you loved?
As a small child I loved Winnie the Pooh, and the Dr. Seuss books, especially Horton Hatches an Egg. As an older child I loved many books, but Gone with the Wind stands out as one of my favorite.

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Elizabeth Fixmer  is a January 2009 graduate of the Hamline MFAC program. She lives in Ft. Atkinson, Wisconsin. To learn more about her and her writing, please visit her website.

Meet the Grad: Shelley Jones

On January 19, 2014, on the final day of the upcoming residency, the MFAC program will have a Graduate Recognition ceremony, honoring the 11 men and women who have just completed their studies and will receive an MFA from Hamline University. Between now and residency, on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, we'll be posting interviews with many of the grads. Today's grad is Shelley Jones; she lives in Johnston, Iowa.

What do you do when you're not working on packets?

When I’m not working on packets, I spend time with my family: my husband, Bob, and my three children, Allison, Levi, and Cole. We like to travel/explore, watch movies, play board games/video games, swim (though I flounder), ski, bowl, rake yard debris… We like just about any activity when we’re together. I also have this gig as an emergency room physician that sucks up a bit of my energy. When I have free time to myself, I like to read and—get this—write.

How did you hear about the Hamline MFAC Program?

Mary Rockcastle and Gary Schmidt attended an Iowa SCBWI conference. Mary gave a breakout session about the Hamline program. I had no interest in an MFA in creative writing, but the other breakout session sounded even more boring, so… As Mary talked about the program, I sat up straighter in my chair. I stopped yawning. My pulse quickened. By the end of the session, I thought “This is exactly what I want to do.” But I had doubts about whether I could devote the time and money. Then, on Saturday evening, Gary Schmidt gave the keynote address. He spoke about writing for children with such passion that the whole auditorium was crying by the time he finished. I’m not a crier, but Gary hit a nerve. My nose was so snotted up, I knew I had to try Hamline.

What was your writing experience prior to entering the program?

I’ve been writing since I was in grade school. I don’t like to brag, but at age 11, I was named “Creep of the Week” by a local television show for my story “The Green Slime.” In junior high I won a poetry contest and I got to meet a real live poet on the “Arts Afloat” boat which travelled down the Mississippi river. I’ve had a medical related short story, medical essays, and poetry published in magazines, but my desire for several years has been to write for children. I write in every spare minute. Writing is my drug—I couldn’t stop if I tried.

What do especially remember about your first residency?

I remember a miraculous January in Minnesota where the temperatures were in the fifties, and every day I walked to class from the Best Western Bandana Inn with a group of fellow students and faculty. We talked about writing. We talked about how life often gets in the way of our writing. I felt like I belonged.

Have you focused on any one form (PB, novel, nonfiction; graphic novel) or age group in your writing? Tried a form you never thought you’d try?

I’ve focused mostly on middle grade novel writing. I’ve written tons of picture books in the past which were unanimously panned by my critique group. At Hamline, I finally gained some understanding of the complexity of picture books, and I included a couple of them in my creative thesis. I also expanded into chapter books, some poetry, and I wrote a YA novel for my creative thesis. As I leave Hamline, I have a yearning to try non-fiction, verse novels, and graphic novels. 

Tell us about your Creative Thesis.

The bulk of my creative thesis is a YA novel—a twisted, snarky version of the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, where sixteen-year-old Sparrow Bailey muses about various forms of suicide while missing the big picture. I also included two picture books: Mrs. Hyde Dances, about a teacher who dances after the students go home, and What Zosie Wants about a girl whose mother never gives her what she wants.

What changes have you seen in your writing during your studies?
The manuscripts I wrote pre-Hamline (which seemed like God’s gift to literature at the time) now look amateurish to me. Medicine is my first profession and it’s true that there is an art and a science involved in taking care of patients. In medical school, we first learned the science, and later the art. With writing, I feel like I’ve spent my whole life wallowing in the art, but I needed the science—the structure that comes from studying the elements of craft—that’s what Hamline provided for me.

Any thoughts for entering students or for people considering the program?

Hamline can help a writer take their manuscripts to the next level. If you’re like I was, you may be thinking that you can’t possibly devote the time and effort it takes to get an MFA in creative writing.  But if you love to write, you will make the time, you will find the money, and you will relish every minute of it. Well, not every minute. That would be a lie. Sometimes you will feel frustrated and untalented, prompting you to procrastinate by jumping online to whine to your fellow students. Sometimes they will tell you to stop whining. Sometimes they will whine back. Okay, so you will enjoy 59 seconds out of every minute.

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The public is welcome to attend the graduate recognition ceremony on Sunday, January 19, 3:30pm, (Anne Simley Theatre, Drew Fine Arts Building). Jane Yolen is the speaker.

Meet the Grad: Gary Metivier

On January 19, 2014, the final day of the upcoming residency, the MFAC program will have a Graduate Recognition ceremony, honoring the 11 men and women who have just completed their studies and will receive an MFA from Hamline University. Between now and residency we'll be posting interviews with each student. Gary Metivier is today's grad; he lives in Davenport, Iowa.

What do you do when you’re not working on packets?

Working full time as a news anchor/reporter. Attending school and sports events with my two sons and wife (Adam is 13/Josh is 17/ My wife is … :)

How did you hear about the Hamline MFAC Program?

I met Mary Rockcastle and Gary Schmidt at an SCBWI conference in Iowa. Mary’s advice that stuck in my head for months before I finally applied “do this for yourself”

What was your writing experience prior to entering the program?

I have always been a writer—but did not have the craft elements or any formal training.

What do especially remember about your first residency?

I wondered if I was a good fit—and whether or not I belonged and could finish. I felt like a kid back in school—but an old kid. I almost left the first day—but that was on me.

Have you focused on any one form (PB, novel, nonfiction; graphic novel) or age group in your writing? Tried a form you never thought you’d try?

I’ve tried every form at Hamline—and learned about myself immensely from that experience.

A hawk lands outside Gary's home office window.

Tell us about your Creative Thesis.

Hawk is very close to my heart—which made it even harder for me I think. Advisors such as Kelly Easton really inspired me to look at everything differently. I actually started the book seven years ago. Nothing remains unchanged—including the main character who once a male and is now female. To finish this novel is perhaps the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Even if it is never published, it was a great learning tool and is a symbol of achievement for me to treasure.

What changes have you seen in your writing during your studies?

I look back on the things I have written before and literally cringe. Not necessarily at the writing itself, but the lack of structure, style and craft elements. I am a totally different writer today—and always will be thanks to Hamline.

Any thoughts for entering students or for people considering the program?

Do it. Even if you don’t think you have what it takes, even if it is painful, even if it doesn’t fit into your life—it will become a part of your life forever. And forget about the cost, too. Compare it to the cost of a new car—but this investment will last a lifetime and stimulate talents in you that you never knew existed.

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 The public is welcome to attend the graduate recognition ceremony on Sunday, January 19, 3:30pm, (Anne Simley Theatre, Drew Fine Arts Building). Jane Yolen is the speaker.

The Devil Made Me Do It

In the Hamline MFAC program we encourage students to try different forms of writing as well as to write across the genres. This isn’t a “do as I say, not as I do” injunction. Members of the faculty also play around with their writing, and some of that play time has been a springboard for serious projects that resulted in publication. Most recently, Ron Koertge and Anne Ursu have explored fairy tales (Lies, Knives, and Girls in Red Dresses; Breadcrumbs), Gary Schmidt bit the bullet and wrote a fantasy (What Came from the Stars), and Mary Logue wrote a picture book (Sleep Like a Tiger).

Though nothing is headed toward publication—or even the open air of a public reading--I’ve been playing around too. 

 Earlier this week I wrote about the NY Times interview with Kate Atkinson. Another gem from that article was her description of what she learned by writing fiction for women’s magazines: “You learn to turn a story around on a sixpence.”

This is not a writing skill I have, something that was made clear to me a few years ago when doing some work-for-hire writing. The editor of the project kept rejecting my ideas for stories with the same question: where’s the moment of change?

Those clear short-story moments when things change elude me. I like a bit of ambiguity, you see, served with a side of complexity. Novels are my natural playground.

Still, I want to have the skill, and as a result I’ve recently been writing flash fiction and reading a lot of revised folk tales, hoping that an immersion in the modern use of old stories will help me acquire a feel for the short form.

I’m not sure I’ve got that under control, but I did come up with a splendid writing exercise, one I’ve already had fun with for my work-in-progress as well as the novel on the back burner. The origin of the exercise is Newbery-winning writer Laura Amy Schlitz’s book The Bearskinner. (I should note that lately my source for finding folktale retellings is Lise Lunge-Larsen; her wonderful weekly blog for Children’s Literature Network (Snipp Snapp Snute) is loaded with recommendations. Yes, I could browse through the 398s at my library, but why not let an expert do some legwork?)

In The Bearskinner, a man makes a deal with a devil, and the story goes on from there. As Lunge-Larsen points out, a deal with the devil is an old trope.  It’s also a great idea for character exploration. What deal would your protagonist make with the devil? Once the bargain is struck, what are the specific challenges that threaten success? If the devil is walking alongside the protagonist during the period of the deal, as in The Bearskinner, what  conversations would occur?

Even if your story is firmly grounded in a world that acknowledges no supernatural whatever, I bet you can still learn something by playing around with the devil.

Hear the Cheering?

The Hamline MFAC community is a happy one today. Two of our own, Gary Schmidt and Mary Logue, are the authors of picture books that were honored by the American Library Association.

The Pura Belpre Award for best picture book illustrated by a Latino/Latina was awarded to Martin de Porres, the Rose in the Desert, illustrated by David Diaz and written by Gary D. Schmidt.

A Caldecott Honor, runner-up to the Caldecott Award for the best illustrated book, was given to Sleep Like a Tiger, illustrated by Pamela Zagarenski and written by Mary Logue.

These are illustrator awards, but as Jackie Briggs Martins, another MFAC luminary, recently said, "First was the word."

Wonderful books, wonderful illustrations. Congrats to all four creators.