Thursday, November 17, 2011

Just In Time For The Holidays

Here's a poem by Richard Newman that I love. It's easy to read, it's funny and it's true to the bone.

Bless Their Hearts

At Steak ‘n Shake I learned that if you add

“Bless their hearts” after their names, you can say

whatever you want about them and it’s OK.

My son, bless his heart, is an idiot,

she said. He rents storage space for his kids’

toys—they’re only one and three years old!

I said, my father, bless his heart, has turned

into a sentimental old fool. He gets

weepy when he hears my daughter’s greeting

on our voice mail. Before our Steakburgers came

someone else blessed her office mate’s heart,

then, as an afterthought, the jealous hearts

of the entire anthropology department.

We bestowed blessings on many a heart

that day. I even blessed my ex-wife’s heart.

Our waiter, bless his heart, would not be getting

much tip, for which, no doubt, he’d bless our hearts.

In a week it would be Thanksgiving,

and we would each sit with our respective

families, counting our blessings and blessing

the hearts of family members as only family

does best. Oh, bless us all, yes, bless us, please

bless us and bless our crummy little hearts.


  1. LOL! There ain't a party in the South (esp. here in NC) where someone doesn't say: "Bless your/their (insert whatever pronoun you wish) heart at least once. Lots of southerners, esp. the ladies, have another way of telling someone off. She'll smile and say: "Have a nice day..." Thanks for posting, Ron!

  2. He had me at the first line. I've learned many valuable lessons at Steak n Shake. Mmmmmm. Sadly, there are none in New England.